Turn to Matthew 26. What is the one thing God said was not good. The answer is Its not good for man to be alone. God created man to experience community, relationships: relationship with Him and relationships with one another. Even you introverts out there, even you hermit crabs out there, and Im one of them… Its not like an introvert doesnt like people or doesnt like activity; its just that when the activity is done, the people contact is done, you need to crawl in a corner somewhere and recharge your battery. You extroverts can go all day, and if youre cooped up and alone, you start climbing the walls. You have to have contact and activity. Im not one of you. Usually when Im done on Sundays, Give me my remote control and the Bears game, and Im a happy guy. Ill do ministry again in a few hours, but right now, its just me and my boy watching the ball game or Im over at my buddys house. I have to recharge. God created us for community. He created us for relationships. Sometimes you and I feel very alone. Sometimes we feel disconnected from God. Sometimes we feel disconnected from our fellow man. Thats what were going to be talking about today. Everybody goes through those periods of loneliness. Everybody goes through those periods where he or she feels isolated. Sometimes its not even of our own doing. I remember going to Great America the first year they opened up, and the friend I invited was sick. Our youth group had three people, so there was me, Brad, and Carla. Brad and Carla were a couple, so after a couple hours of walking around with me, they said, Hey, Jeff, nothing personal, but Carla and I would like to walk around by ourselves for a little while. We hope you dont mind. Weve really enjoyed being with you today. I was like, No problem. I understand. For the rest of the day on every roller coaster, every log ride, Who doesnt have a partner? I raised my hand, I dont. You feel like such an outcast. All these people were having fun, and Im thinking, I do have friends. There was somebody I was with. I did have a date, but she got sick. There are people that like me. You get kind of self-conscious. Sometimes you feel lonely; you can be a little self-conscious about that. That was out of my control. Sometimes you and I feel isolated and cut off, and its on purpose. Were the ones doing the isolating. Were the ones doing the cutting off. It could be weve been burned in a relationship. It could be that weve been misunderstood, so we withdraw. It could be that its just hard work to have a friendship. In a relationship of any kind, you have to invest to have that relationship. Its just much easier to be by yourself, so you take the path of least residence. Thats not good. We send out signals, sometimes overtly and sometimes passively, to leave me alone. We have a dog named Penny. Shes three-quarters Border Collie and one-quarter Chihuahua, which means shes very active but also very timid. Penny takes a liking to our cat, Garfield, Tiger, and Tiger does not care for Odie, Penny, and tries to avoid Penny. They started to warm up a little bit, but the other day they were walking around the house, and Penny is hanging with Tiger. Penny is not jumping on Tiger, bothering Tiger, just saying, Where do you want to go now, Tiger? Okay, lets go in there. Tiger is walking around, looking over her shoulder. Penny would stop, wag her tail, like Okay, what do we do now? Tiger would start walking, and shed start walking. Then Tiger would stop, and Penny would stop. Then Tiger turned around, unprovoked, and went, Pffffffff. She had spit and arched her back. I was like, Tiger! Penny did nothing to you! Penny looks at me like, What? I didnt do anything. The cat was saying, Leave me alone! I dont want to be bothered. I dont want you around me. I just want to be alone. Dont you understand that? Thats what the dirty looks mean. You made me spit! This is your fault! So they parted company. Im not saying you and I are turning around spitting at people. I hope were not doing that. Sometimes we can send signals that say, Hands off! Stay back! We can isolate ourselves. God says thats not good. God created you and me for community, for oneness, for relationship. Were going to take a look at, I think, the best example of community we can find. That is Jesus and the Disciples. Were going to see that not everything was perfect in their relationship, and well see how the Lord handled that relationship. This has been an increasingly stressful time for the Disciples. They have been living in adventure. Jesus has performed miracles and tremendous things. Hes taught, and theyve learned so much. Its been an adventure, a ride. Now Jesus is breaking the news to them at the Last Supper that its coming to an end. His enemies, theyre going to win. Theyre going to finally get a hold of him. Theyre going to torture, beat, and crucify him. Hes going to die. Theyre devastated by this news that this person they love so deeply and trust so intensely is going to leave them. Whats more, they find out theyre going to betray Him too. In fact, He says one of you will betray me. Every one of them says, Not me, Lord. Peter says, Others might desert you, I wont. Ill die for you. We always talk about Peter saying that; well Matthew 26 says they all said it. It says right after Peter says that, they all said the same thing, Were with you, Lord. Well not desert you. Jesus says, Ill tell you the truth. Youll all scatter. So not only do they find out Jesus is going to die, but they find out in the end this person theyve been so loyal to, theyre going to desert Him. They are just devastated. They are emotional wrecks. Then the moment of truth… Jesus is about to be betrayed, so He calls the Disciples, and they go to the Garden of Gethsemane, after the Last Supper, to pray. Thats where we pick up the story in Verse 36 [or Matthew Chapter 26, page 985 of pew Bibles]. Then Jesus went with the Disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and He said to them, Sit here while I go over there and pray. He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee… That would be James and John. …along with him, and He began to be sorrowful and troubled. Notice here a pattern. All eleven come, because Judas is already gone. He is in the process of betraying Christ at this moment. There are eleven. Eight remain in one spot, and he takes three, and they go deeper into Gethsemane. Once theyre in Gethsemane, He begins to bear His soul. He begins to say, I am deeply troubled and disturbed, and heres why: He becomes vulnerable. He becomes a person who says, You know what? Ive been your master, your Lord, your teacher. Right now, Im putting on my friend hat. I need you right now. Isnt it interesting that Jesus didnt bear His soul to all eleven? He only did it to three. The first principle I want to talk to you about is the principle of limited access. If youre going to experience Biblical community with somebody, theyre going to really know you, and youre going to really know them, and youre going to be able to talk about some really important, serious stuff, Heres what Im frustrated about or heres what Im angry about; that is a quality relationship, not a quantity relationship. Youre not going to have tons of this kind. You know why? They take a lot of time; they take a lot of investment and energy. Quite frankly, you dont have the kind of time. If youre like a normal person, you dont have the kind of time to invest in many, many people to have this level of friendship with. Its best to have a few that you have an affinity with, that you have established a trust with through trial and error. You open your heart, and you find out they dont reject you, they listen to you; and its reciprocal. You find out theyre not slandering you or gossiping about you, but they love you. They dont reject you, and you can open up. Over time, a close bond forms and you can have this kind of a friendship. Its not going to be a lot, and its not about cliques. Jesus wasnt saying, We four no more. The other eight werent offended. They understood that Jesus had a close relationship with those three. So, its okay. Jesus had opened up His ministry up to the thousands, to everybody, every race, everyone. It wasnt a matter of cliques, but when it came to those who knew Him the most, who knew Him intimately, there were only three. Limited access. Theyre going to build these kinds of relationships. Its not going to be a matter of quantity. Verse 38, Then He said to them, My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me. Do you realize the gravity of the words that Christ is saying right here? When is the last time or any other time when you heard Jesus use the words overwhelmed about Himself? Zero. The waves are crashing against the boat; theyre afraid theyre going to drown. Jesus wakes up and Hes not overwhelmed. He simply says, Peace be still, and the waves die down. Theres a lynch mob, and they think Hes blasphemed against God. They want to take Him and throw Him off a cliff in Luke. Jesus is not overwhelmed by this angry mob. It says He passes through their mitts, and He goes on His way. Jesus encounters death on more than one occasion, and theyre looking at Jesus and saying, What are you going to do? Jesus is not overwhelmed by death. He simply raises them from the dead. But in this situation on this night, Jesus is overwhelmed. Wow! Think about that. The One who made the world-and is now in the world-is overwhelmed. Why? Because though He is fully God, He is fully man, and He has the full range of emotions that any man would have. We use the expression, Hes carrying the weight of the world on His shoulders right now. Jesus was literally about to. He was about to carry the weight of the world, the weight of sin, literally on His shoulders. The man, Jesus, was deeply, deeply troubled. The word that He uses here overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death, that word sorrow, theres three words for depression in the Greek. This is the most intense word for depression right here. This moment, Im not saying His whole life-but at this moment- it was hard. You cannot go to the Lord and say, Lord you dont know what its like to face depression and be lonely and struggle like I do. No, the truth of the matter is youll never know what He went through. What He went through was incomprehensible to you and me. Notice what Jesus does here. He takes off His master, Lord, and teacher hat, and He puts on his fellow journeyman hat, his fellow spiritual traveler hat, and He says, I need you guys today to watch and to pray. The second healthy ingredient of Biblical community and friendship is that of mutual assistance, mutual assistance. Jesus had been there for them, and now He says, I need you to be here for Me. Thats important. A couple weeks ago at church on a Saturday night, to people whove been part of our church for years, I said, Hey, lets go out. I need to take my pastor hat off and put on my friend hat tonight. I need to share some things with you. I have friends I can talk to about anything. Thats what you do. Its mutual. There are times when your friends need to talk to you, and they need you to listen. There are times when you need to talk to them. There are times when they give of themselves their energies and resources to you, and there are times when you give to them. Its mutual because if its one way, its dysfunctional. If its one way, its called enabling. Its called co-dependency, whatever label you want to put on it. If youve got a relationship where its always you give, you give, you give, you give, and you never receive, thats not Biblical community. If its you who is always receiving, receiving, receiving, and never giving, thats out of balance too. My wife and I, we give and receive. Its a mutual system, a mutual relationship. Thats what God has called friends to do with one another, so thats what Jesus does. On to the next verse [Verse 39 of Matthew Chapter 26], Going a little farther, He fell with His face to the ground and prayed, My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will. Then He returned to His Disciples and found them sleeping. Could you men not keep watch with Me for one hour? He asked Peter. Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak. Were going to talk next about the importance of a lifestyle of authenticity, of being real. I want you to notice that Jesus is real with God, and He is real with the Disciples. Do you see that? When He prays to the Father, He says, Father, if theres any other way, I am struggling. I am in emotional pain and torment. I am in spiritual anguish. If theres any other way, take this cup from me. Jesus bears His soul to the Father. Sometimes we pray what we think God wants to hear instead of what we really feel. Do you think God wants to hear what you think He wants to hear or does He want to hear what youre really going through? He knows it anyway! You might as well be real. You say, God, Im angry, and heres why or God, Im confused, and heres why. You dont have to put on facade. Dont play a game with God. Jesus is authentic. He says, Father, I know this is why Im here, but right now Im just having second thoughts. Im just wondering if theres not another way. Jesus is real with the Father. Jesus is real with His disciples. Hes saying, You disappointed me. Could you not pray with Me? Could you not watch with Me? Why is it that the one time I need you, you let me down? Notice that Jesus is very real. He confronts them. He says, Heres what Im going through. He confronts them face to face. He doesnt send them a letter or an email. Do you remember the old-fashioned conversations when youd sit down and talk about something? Remember that? I kid you not, since the dawning of emails, one of my pet-peeves, something Ive had to share over 100 times-Im sure-to numerous people, when theres confrontation-somebodys confronting or angry at someone, and they send an email, Ive had to say, Dont do that! Thats the worst form of communication that you can imagine, a letter or email. If you can talk to the person, you try to talk to them. Sometimes its not healthy to. I understand that. Were not going to go down every rabbit trail. Usually, it is okay to talk face to face. Do you know why thats such a poor form of communication? Because words are just a small part of communication. Some of you think, Well, I thought words were a huge part of communication. Nope, theyre just a small part. Lets play a little experiment here. I want you to ask me the question, Whats wrong? and Im going to respond. One, two, three (and the congregation says), Whats wrong? Nothing, (Pastor Jeff responds in a normal tone of voice). So what have I just said? I said there is nothing wrong. Ask me again, Whats wrong? Nothing!(he shouts this time). Why do you keep asking me that? Nothings wrong! What have I just communicated? Ive expressed that there is something wrong. I said nothings wrong, but my face is scrunched, and Im tense and yelling, and Im gesturing like this. You know from my body language and my voice inflection, my facial expression, Im communicating something very different from my words. Ask me again. Whats wrong? Nothing? (he responds like hes asking a question). What did I just communicate? Im surprised that you would ask me. Theres nothing wrong. I shrugged my shoulders; I raised my eyebrows; I put a question in my voice. Same word, three different times, communicated three entirely different messages. Thats why its so important that we communicate face to face. I had a friend, a sister in Christ, a couple weeks ago that had a problem with something I had said. She came up to me and said, Pastor, I have a problem. She shared what the problem was. Did I get mad? I thought, Boy, thats the way it should be all the time. Most of the time if somebodys mad at you, you have to figure it out the hard way. Theyll send you the message rather than just tell you about it. Notice here it says Jesus comes back, finds them sleeping, and then Peter says, Whats wrong, Lord? Jesus replies, Nothing! (Pastors voice displays anger.) Then Peter asked Him again and said, Whats wrong, Lord? Jesus says, Well you know… Then Jesus turned away and refused to talk to them for the rest of the night, make them think about what theyd done (Pastor is being sarcastic here). He doesnt do that. He just says, Heres how you let me down. Heres what I was expecting. Heres how you fell short. Listen, friends, were all going to fall short, but dont put on a facade. Dont pretend everythings fine when its not fine. I heard about a guy whod been promoted to colonial during the Golf War. He thought, Man, I cant believe Im a colonial. This is really cool. Im pretty high up there. So he got his new office and was sitting at his desk, and he could see this private coming. He was going to impress the private, so he picks up the phone and says, Hello General Schwarzkopf. How are you? Yes, I did receive the email. I have somebody in my office right now. Ill be calling you shortly to give you my feedback on the plan. All right, good, Norm. Thanks. All right. All right. Goodbye General. Then he turns and says, Yes, Private, how can I help you? Ah, yeah, Colonial, Im just here to get your phone hooked up. Weve all had those kinds of situations. Were trying to put on an impressive front, and it doesnt work, right? Being inauthentic doesnt work. Be real. Jesus communicates with God, Heres what Im feeling; He communicates with the Disciples, Heres what Im experiencing. Thats part of authentic friendship and relationship. Lets see what else we can learn from this passage. Verse 42 [still of Matthew 26, page 986], He went away a second time and prayed, My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may Your will be done. When He came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So He left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing. Then he returned to the Disciples and said to them, Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour is near, and the Son of Man is betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us go! Here comes my betrayer! The fourth point is the unconditional acceptance of the Lord. Sometimes we say that Verse 39 and Verse 42 are the same prayer; theyre not. You put those in juxtaposition, and look at them, and theyre not the same. I literally copied and pasted them above each other on my computer, so I could look at them. Theyre not the same prayer. Verse 39 is an ask prayer. It says, My Father, if it is possible, may this cup pass from Me. Its a question. Verse 42, He says, My father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may Your will be done. Verse 42 is an acceptance prayer. Do you see the difference? One is saying, Is this okay? Can we find another way? The second one is saying, Im coming to terms with the fact that Youre saying no, and Im okay with that. What do you do when God says no to your prayers? Has anybody here ever had God say no to your prayers? What do you do when God says no? You are a little upset sometimes. Sometimes you can get a little passive/aggressive with God and start to withdraw from God. The nerve of Him not answering my prayers the way I want them answered! The nerve of the Creator of the Universe to think He knows better than me! Who does He think He is? God? Yeah. We get pretty upset, and we start to withdraw from God. Im just going to punish God. Im not going to go to church. God says, Whats wrong? through the Holy Spirit. We say, Nothing! Im not going to read the Bible. Im not going to pray. Im mad because You said no. Jesus says, Father, if You say no, Ill accept that. Thats as high as maturity gets. God is going to allow His son to go through this dark period of time. Hes going to allow it to happen. You might get angry with God. Sometimes you go through valleys of darkness, and God allows it to happen. You say, God, I dont understand why Youre doing this to me. I thought You loved me. Jesus knows the Father knows best. I think that was a series once upon a time before my day. Father knows best, and Im going to trust Him, Jesus says. There was a tribe I read about where they would take the 13-year olds when they wanted to become Braves, and what they would do was something very unique. They would take that Brave who had never been away from his tribe or his family, ever, and theyd blindfold that young boy. They would go miles away from home, and theyd get in the middle of the woods, take off the blindfold, and leave the Brave there alone for the night. That Brave would just stay right there. Every time they boy would hear a stick in the night, hed look and wonder what was going to pounce on him. Hed hear a howl and imagine a wolf coming out to jump on him any second. Hed hear the wind whisper through the trees and wonder, Whats coming? What is that? He would be shivering cold and scared all night long. Then the morning would come, the sun would come up, and hed see the flowers, birds, and hed breathe a sigh of relief. Hed see the path that would lead back to the village. Hed look and not far from him, hed see the image of a man with a bow and arrow, and it was his father. The father had been there all night on the watch. The son didnt know it. The father would be ready to shoot whatever would attack his boy. There are times when we go through the valleys of life, and it seems dark and like Gods not around, but Hes around. Hell let you go through those valleys, but He said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. Thats a promise. God keeps His promise. When that boy emerged from that valley, what was his courage like? It was at a new level. He had a new confidence. He was a Brave. When we come through those valleys, our faith is stronger. We understand life better. We understand the will of God more clearly. It turns out that dark valley was a blessing. That time we felt so alone and isolated, God was there. So Jesus knows, Though You said no, and I know Im going to go through darkness, Father, youve not abandoned me. He comes to His Disciples, and His Disciples have failed Him three times now. Three times theyve let Him down, and what does He say? He says in Verse 46, Im done with you guys! You annoy Me! You failed me three times, and youre going to scatter pretty soon. Im done with you. Im so done with you! Nope. Jesus starts to understand that theyre under a lot of pressure right now. Theyre going through a lot emotionally. Theyre drained. He says, Come on, men. Lets go. If youre in a friendship, from time to time a friend is going to fail you, or youre going to fail them, but you move on. You move on together. Having community with God and having a community with believers gives me the courage to face the challenges that life brings. Thats why Jesus says these words, Here comes My betrayer. Lets go meet him. In John 18:4 (page 1071), we pick up the story. It says, Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to Him, went forth. He didnt say, Lets run. Lets hide. Hide Me! He went forth to meet the challenge because He had been in communion with His Father. Hed experienced oneness with His Father. He was going to face His accuser with His brothers. When youre in community, you can face lifes challenges; but when youre alone, its really hard. I would encourage you to pursue these kinds of friendships. Theyre not going to just fall in your lap. Nobody is going to show up at your door one day and say, Hi! I want to be your close companion through lifes journey. Ill listen to your problems; you can listen to mine. Well love each other. Well forgive each other, and well be real. What do you say? My name is Bill. It doesnt happen that way. You have to put yourself in those relationships. You have to invest in those kinds of relationships. The church, we have ministries that you can be a part of. We have small groups that you can join, places where you can live life together and get to know people. Do you know that Sunday morning is designed to get to know the back of the persons head in front of you, to be quite blunt with you? Sometimes people will say, You know, I feel like the Sunday morning service is not really having fellowship. Ill say, Thats correct. Theyll look at you like, What? Ill say, Well, thats not what its designed for. Its kind of hard to get all of that done in an hour, you know? Corporate prayer and worship through music, instruction in the Word, and still have time for you to get to know somebody to that level? There are pockets of community. Ill see people linger, especially on Saturday nights or after the 11:00 service when you dont have to shuffle out for the next group to come in. Sometimes after this service, pockets will meet and pray and talk, but thats not what this service is designed for. Its not its purpose. We have other ministries in the church that are designed for that. Thats like going to a Chinese restaurant. I went to World Buffet, was it Saturday? It was good Chinese food. It would be like walking out of there and saying, You know, their American food here is just terrible. Im telling you this Chinese restaurant has the worst pizza in town. Im not coming back here! People would look at you and say, If you want pizza, you dont go there. If you want a burger, you dont go there. Its a Chinese restaurant. Dont have that expectation! Its not what its for. You know Sunday mornings, I just dont feel like I know anybody. Thats not what this service is for. This is to hear the Word. Weve got 30 small groups that meet during the week, so you can get to know people. We have 80 sub-ministries in our church that you can get involved with and get to know people. You can pick up your phone and call somebody and get to know people. Pursue that. Its not going to just happen. Its not going to just fall in your lap. Lets pray, Father, thank You for the instruction in Your Word as we look at Jesus and the Disciples. It was not always perfect, not always rosy, but weve gleaned so much from the way You handled those relationships. Weve learned about limited access. Father, we learned in that prayer, in that Scripture, about mutual assistance, about a lifestyle of authenticity, about unconditional acceptance. We thank You, Lord, that You love us. Help us, Lord, to find those and build those relationships in our lives. In Jesus name we pray, Amen.